DrThurber
Camp Psychologist
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May 20, 2008, 1:28 PM
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A Touchy Summer Camp Subject
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From piggy-back rides to hugs to sitting on one's lap, camp staff need to be aware of what constitutes a "safe touch."
“Hit a camper? No, never! A firm shake will do.” This was an actual line from the staff training manual at YMCA Camp Belknap, where I began working in 1983 and where I still serve at waterfront director. Back in 1983, when the staff training manual was typed (gulp!) and mimeographed (pew!) our thinking about touch and discipline was about as old fashioned as the document duplication technology.
But Belknap wasn’t alone. Most camps at that time didn’t conduct a “safe touch” workshop as part of their staff training. Like Belknap, they steered staff away from corporal punishment, but nothing was mentioned of backrubs, piggy-back rides, hugs and other affectionate forms of touch. Nor was anything said about “wedgies,” “purple nurples,” “noogies,” and similar playful, aggressive, yet inappropriate touch. Certainly, there was no discussion of abusive behaviours, such as counsellors sexually molesting campers or campers sexually molesting other campers. And of course no one breathed a word about normative sexual behaviours, such as masturbation.
Now the pendulum seems to have swung in the other direction. Some camp directors are implementing “no hug” rules and some staff trainers are advising only the awkward “sideways hug,” performed shoulder-to-shoulder. Backrubs, piggy-backs and anything that involves more touching is prohibited. Staff are being advised to never be alone with a child, lest that child accuse them of some lewd act. And shower times and changing times now involve an awkward form of quasi-supervision that requires two staff to be present but not actually looking.
I have two kids of my own, so I understand the importance of safe touch; I’m also a clinical psychologist, so I understand the grave psychological consequences of physical and sexual abuse. And I am also a camp professional, so I understand that camp directors are in a bind. They want staff to form healthy relationships and use common sense — they just don’t want to be sued on the basis of some misunderstanding or worse.
But are we using common sense? In a recent Wall Street Journal article entitled Avoiding Kids: How Men Cope with Being Cast as Predators, author Jeff Zaslow quoted Frank McEnulty, a builder in Long Beach, CA, who was once a Boy Scout scoutmaster: “Today, I wouldn’t do that job for anything. All it takes is for one kid to get ticked off at you for something and tell his parents you were acting weird on the campout.”
What’s the answer? I had to wrestle with this myself during the filming of Safe Touch & Safe Talk, one of my Leadership Essentials video training modules. I think the answer to our touch paranoia involves taking a stand in these five common sense ways:
- Recognize that human touch is a natural and powerful force. Not only do high-fives and hugs feel good, there’s also a mountain of scientific evidence suggesting that appropriate touch promotes bonding and good health in human beings. We also should remember that camp staff need to touch campers to provide reassurance and instruction in certain activities. Our discussion should focus on how we touch children, not whether we touch them.
- Train your staff with explicit examples. It’s never enough for a camp director to tell staff, “Don’t touch campers in inappropriate ways.” That phrase means different things to different people. Safe touch is not just a function of where you touch people, but how they perceive that touch. In training, use explicit examples of what kinds of touch are inappropriate or abusive.
- Capitalize on common sense. Nearly everything carefully-screened staff members hear about safe touch will make sense because it’s congruent with their values. And when people use common sense, things like brief, consensual, face-to-face hugs can be as appropriate as a handshake. That said, every camp has its own culture and directors must decide for themselves which kinds of touch constitute “common sense” at their camp and train staff to those standards.
- Respect each family’s traditions of touch. Some campers come from affectionate families and will therefore solicit hugs from counsellors; others come from families where physical touch is infrequent. Camp staff must understand that all the training and common sense in the world still doesn’t give them a formula that works for all campers. Staff must recognize campers’ discomfort and respect the limits that campers communicate.
- Train staff to set a good example with each other in touch and talk. Some camper-to-camper inappropriate intimate behaviour represents normative, consensual curiosity. Other unwelcome touch is a recapitulation of prior victimization. Both sorts are unpredictable. What is predictable is that campers will imitate staff. When the staff are pinching, poking and punching each other — even affectionately — the campers will do the same to one another, typically when unsupervised. Combine that physicality with children’s impulsivity and you’ve got a recipe for trouble.
This summer, consider taking a stand on touch that is realistic, explicit and sensible. If talented leaders are loathe becoming youth development professionals for fear of being falsely accused of abuse, and then we have a societal problem that extends beyond camping. But camp professionals can lead the way out of this paranoia by combining proficient hiring and staff training practices with clear communication and a healthy dose of common sense.
This article originally appeared in Canada Camps (Apr/May 2008)
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Dr. Christopher Thurber is a board-certified clinical psychologist on the faculty at Phillips Exeter Academy. His premium library of online video staff training modules, entitled Leadership Essentials, launched in January, 2008. Chris also produced The Secret Ingredients of Summer Camp Success, a DVD-CD set that lowers the intensity of first-year campers' homesickness by half, and co-authored the best-selling Summer Camp Handbook, Chris can be reached at: chris@campspirit.com.
(This post was edited by DrThurber on Jun 2, 2008, 9:23 AM)
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