DrThurber
Camp Psychologist
/ Moderator
Aug 8, 2005, 10:05 AM
Post #1 of 1
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Single-Sex or Coed?
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Fewer choices about which camp to attend are more important than this one. At the same time, every family must realize that there are virtues to both single-sex and coed camps. The choice should depend on which virtues are most important to you and your child this summer.
“We live in a coed world,” one camp director astutely pointed out to me at a recent camping conference. “Kids should attend coed camps so they can prepare themselves for that world.” At a high quality coed camp, boys and girls may learn interpersonal skills that depart in healthy ways from the gender-role stereotypes they may have learned at school or elsewhere. Boys have an opportunity to see girls as leaders and athletes; girls see boys in nurturing, expressive roles. At a poor quality coed camp, flirtation and flaunting overshadow and undermine opportunities for respectful relationships and genuine growth. Therefore, the special responsibility of the staff at any coed camp is to model the kinds of non-romantic, polite, genuine male-female interactions they want campers to adopt.
“We live in a coed world,” a different camp director astutely replied at the same camping conference. “Kids should attend a single-sex camp so they experience something different and uniquely supportive.” At a high quality single-sex camp, boys and girls see balanced role models and largely avoid romantic distractions. Boys interact with men who are both strong and compassionate, assertive and attentive. Girls interact with women who are both tenacious and tender, confident and caring. At a single-sex camp, boys and girls can not only be themselves, they can be their whole selves and reenter the coed world with renewed confidence and empathy. High quality single-sex camps nurture that which is stereotypically feminine and stereotypically masculine, and they do it in an environment where boys and girls feel an enhanced sense of emotional safety. At a poor quality single-sex camp, staff model only those behaviors stereotypical of one sex, sometimes even in an exaggerated, unhealthy way. Bravado and machismo reign at such boys’ camps; gossip and diffidence at such girls’ camps.
Ultimately, the search for a high quality camp eclipses the choice of single-sex vs. coed. But before beginning this search, or evaluating the quality of your child’s current camp, consider what it is your child needs most. Is it additional practice with wholesome coed situations or a place to rediscover their own identity as a boy or girl?
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Dr. Christopher Thurber is a board-certified clinical psychologist on the faculty at Phillips Exeter Academy. His premium library of online video staff training modules, entitled Leadership Essentials, launched in January, 2008. Chris also produced The Secret Ingredients of Summer Camp Success, a DVD-CD set that lowers the intensity of first-year campers' homesickness by half, and co-authored the best-selling Summer Camp Handbook, Chris can be reached at: chris@campspirit.com.
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